I’m absolutely loathe to do this, considering that I scrupulously try to avoid any hint of self-promotion on my blogs. But I suppose I should mention that this is my second and final year of eligibility for the John W. Campbell Award for Best New Science Fiction or Fantasy Writer.

I should also point out that last year, I missed getting a Campbell nomination by 4 lousy votes. The award ended up going to Naomi Novo something-or-other, who writes these lurid fantasy novels about Loch Ness monsters on the moon, or basilisks on Boot Hill, or something like that. I can’t be bothered to look it up. I heard they sold a few copies.

So this year, in an effort to avoid being screwed once again by Big Hugo, I’m immediately commencing my sinister, take-no-prisoners campaign to get nominated for this year’s Campbell Award. My eligible works are (in order of reverse chronology):

• Infoquake

Okay, so it’s not a very large oeuvre at this point. But it’s a good one. And all you have to do to qualify to vote is be a supporting member of the World Science Fiction Society, which costs $50. (You can sign up for your membership here.)

In order to ensure my victory, here’s what I’m prepared to do. Everyone who emails me photographic proof that they’ve nominated me for the Campbell Award will receive the following:

1. A check for $20,000, plus 20% of all my future writing profits;
2. Ten copies of the deluxe illustrated edition of my upcoming novel MultiReal, personally inscribed and annotated by me;
3. Three nights of raunchy and deviant adventure with a pair of bisexual French runway models or David Beckham (your choice);
4. A lifetime supply of Dinty Moore canned Beef Stew, plus gold-plated can opener;
5. A three-picture deal with Joss Whedon, with guaranteed participation by Jason Lee, Paris Hilton, and Ozzy Osbourne; and
6. My eternal gratitude.*

And what’s the use of having a blog if I can’t pimp my friends who are also eligible for the award? In particular:

• Mary Robinette Kowal is not only the owner of the coolest steampunk laptop in existence, but she’s been building quite a portfolio of short fiction. And she’s, like, way cool.
• Cat Rambo seems to be publishing short fiction everywhere these days, not least of which is a collaboration with Jeff Vandermeer called The Surgeon’s Tale. And she’s also way cool. (Update 1/7/08: Alas, Ms. Rambo informs me that she is not eligible for the Campbell. But she’s still way cool.)

Presumably the frontrunners for the Campbell this year are Patrick Rothfuss (The Name of the Wind) and Scott Lynch (The Lies of Locke Lamora). Although Patrick’s not listed on the Writertopia Eligible Authors page, for some reason. I don’t want to dissuade you from nominating either of these fine gentlemen, even though they’re both wanted in twelve states for peddling narcotics to homeless children. And they were major investors in Michael Vick’s dog fighting ring. And they’re Scientologists. But really, if none of that bothers you, by all means please nominate Patrick Rothfuss and Scott Lynch for the Campbell Award.

Update 1/7/08: Turns out Patrick Rothfuss may not be eligible, according to Bill at Writertopia. See comments on the Livejournal mirror of this article.

March 1, 2008′s the deadline, people. What are you waiting for?

* All prizes subject to availability and/or author’s whims.