The winner this week is Jim Haley. The title he submitted would never fit on a DVD case, but he scores extra points for hitting Douglas Adams’ entire Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series, including “Young Zaphod Plays It Safe”:

The Hooker’s Guide to Servicing Aliens at the Truckstop at the End of the Universe, Avoiding His (Her/Its) Wife, Her Purse, and Everything in It, and Knowing When It’s Time to Say, So Long, You Were a Quite a Dish (with the addendum Young Bods May Not Like to Play It Safe, But They’re Mostly Harmless Anyway)

And if that wasn’t enough, he submitted a number of other good titles, including:

The Unzip My Fly Effect

and

So LONG… But It Smells a Little Like Fish

The closest runner-up was Mike Wolffe, for his fabulous entry:

Butt Pirates of the Perineum: At Girl’s End

(I might have awarded Mike the contest, if I didn’t eliminate him for reasons of nepotism. I’ve actually known Mike since we both stood out in deep right field in a softball game in fifth grade and let fly balls fly by us. Go read Mike’s blog, if you want to see some great photography, deviant humor of the Butt Pirates of the Perineum sort, left-wing politics, general deep thoughts, and lots of Calvin and Hobbes. But I should warn you, this is a guy who still likes Guns N’ Roses.)

As for other runners-up… Stephen Stull came close to the grand prize with an entry that made me grin. Although in the end, I thought Titus Groans was a little too — well, obvious.

GormenghASSED Revisited: Titus Groans… Again.

Dave Crampton submitted a few good entries as well, but the one that really made me giggle was:

Anansi Boys on Boys

Very simple and elegant. Neil Gaiman would be proud.

Update, July 14 @ 10:20 AM: A few late-arriving entries from Geoffrey Allan Plauche that, while not eligible for the contest, are still worthy of inclusion on the honorable mentions list:

Joe Hadaman’s The Forever Whore
Joe Abercrombie’s Before They Are Banged
John Scuzzi’s Old Man’s Whore
Fred Pole’s Man Plus Man
David Louis Edelman’s Hoquake: Book One of the Hump 269 Trilogy

* * *

For this week’s contest, due to popular request (and due to this blogger wishing to get more contest entries so as to not look foolish), I’m opening up entries to the entire world. Yes, that means you, in Zimbabwe! And you, in Portugal! And you, in the Cayman Islands! Not to mention you, in the United States.

I’m also going to lower the decency bar back down where it belongs, in deference to all of the Internet censors in your foreign countries. In fact, I’m so interested in getting your input that I’m going to let you influence the course of the next U.S. presidential election.

Your task is this: pick a comic book superhero to run as either Barack Obama’s or John McCain’s running mate this fall. And then tell me why said superhero would be an asset to the ticket. You can be funny — or heck, if you can really think of some good, solid reasons why Obama should choose Wolverine as his vice president or McCain should be stumping through Idaho with Nick Fury, I’ll be willing to reward a thoughtful enough entry with the prize.

Example: “John McCain should choose Spider-Man as his running mate in ’08, because 1) his punchy one-liners could really liven up McCain’s stump speeches, 2) who knows, underneath that costume, Spidey might be a black guy too, and 3) his New York residency might actually help win the state for the GOP.”

Same contest rules apply as before. Email your response to dedelman@gmail.com with the subject line “Summer Giveaway Contest 3″. Entries are due Sunday, July 20 at 11:59 pm Eastern Time. Submit as many entries as you like. Winning entry gets:

• One signed copy of the Solaris mass market of Infoquake
• One signed copy of the Pyr trade paperback of MultiReal
• One signed copy of The Solaris Book of New Science Fiction, Volume Two (containing my story “Mathralon”)
• One signed copy of the new Overlook Press edition of Mervyn Peake’s Titus Alone (containing my introduction)

Update, July 21 @ 10:10 AM: The winner of this week’s contest has been announced.