The wait is over. Geosynchron is here! Which means that the trilogy which began as a gleam in my bio/logically-enhanced eye way back in 1997 or 1998 is completely in print, and you can now judge the entire story on its merits. Or you can simply stare at the gorgeous Stephan Martiniere cover for hours on end and try to figure out who the heck that guy is sitting Indian style on the cover, which is what I do. (The answer? I really don’t know. I’m guessing it’s either High Executive Len Borda or it’s Ian Holm fresh off the set of The Fifth Element.)

Anyway… boy, am I gonna need your help on this one. This is the last launch of a Jump 225 book, which means it’s the last best time to spread the word about the trilogy. So please, forward to your friends and family members, post reviews online, write blog posts, tweet, spray paint Geosynchron-related graffiti on the front of government buildings! Just tell them that Neil Gaiman sent you.

Oh yeah, and why don’t you read the book too, and let me know how you liked it?

“So, Dave, How Do I Buy Geosynchron?”

Glad you asked. Most writers (the smart ones, at least) will tell you to buy their books in whatever way makes the most sense to you. Amazon and Amazon UK are both selling it (both in paper and on the Kindle). If you’re not partial to Amazon, you can always order from Barnes & Noble or Books-a-Million. Want to support an indie bookstore? Try Borderlands Books, Mysterious Galaxy or Powell’s — or search for it at the independent bookstore nearest you on IndieBound.

If you really feel like going out of your way — and this is totally optional — probably the most helpful thing you could do is to walk into an actual Borders or Barnes & Noble store and ask for Geosynchron by name. If they’re not carrying it, express your shock and amazement loud enough for everyone in the store to hear you, and then special order it from the counter.

Geosynchron: A “Seminal Work of 21st Century SF.”

Man, the critics are saying all kinds of things that are making me blush from my bald head down to my hairy toes. This may be the best-reviewed book of mine to date. Here are the highlights since the last newsletter. And no, I haven’t slept with any of these people.

• Locus Magazine: “This smart, idiosyncratic blend of cyberpunk, libertarian entrepreneurship, and social engineering will, I think, stand as a seminal work of 21st century SF.” (Full Review Forthcoming)
• Fantasy Book Critic: “Geosynchron achieves a rare feat for a trilogy-ending volume, namely it takes the series one level higher, beyond mundanity to true sense-of-wonder SF, so it finally plays on the level of the masters of modern SF… An A+ and so far the best core-SF novel I’ve read in 2010.”
• io9: “More warped than ever… Geosynchron is an engaging conclusion to a thrilling, thought-provoking saga.”
• Library Journal: “Taking cyberpunk to the next level, this conclusion to Edelman’s trilogy… presents a drama of future technology that combines action with psychosocial intrigue. Tension comes as much from the clash of ideas as from physical confrontation. Highly recommended.”
• Grasping for the Wind: “Just amazing. How anyone could make a boardroom discussion so exciting is beyond my comprehension. With words, not lasers, Edelman produces a fiction that has no peer… David Louis Edelman’s Jump 225 trilogy is one of the best space operas currently in print… If you read no other science fiction story this year, read the Jump 225 trilogy.”
• Rob Bedford of SFFWorld: “Today I finished what is, so far, the best SF novel I’ve read this short year and probably best overall — Geosynchron by David Louis Edelman. A fine finale to what is a superb SF trilogy.” (Full Review Forthcoming)

Interviews and Guest Blog Posts.

If reading the reviews isn’t enough for you to get your Geosynchron fix, then click on through to some of these interviews and guest blog posts:

• John Scalzi’s Whatever hosts a “Big Idea” blog from me today about how a scene from Arthur C. Clarke’s 2001 helped inspire the Jump 225 trilogy, and why humanity is powered by dissatisfaction.
• Pat’s Fantasy Hotlist hosted a guest blog from me this week wherein I divulged why the initial letters of the Jump 225 books spell out IMG. (Hint: think HTML.)
• Grinding to Valhalla talks to me about my RPG, videogaming and boardgaming past, the rewarding and not-so-rewarding things about writing, and Yars’ Revenge. Yes, Yars’ Revenge.
• The DC Speculative Fiction Examiner‘s Josh Vogt interviewed me about the writing process, things about the books I would change in retrospect, and which settings of the books I’ve actually visited. (Hint: pretty much none of them.)

GoodReads Jump 225 Giveaway.

GoodReads members can register to win (separately) a signed copy of Infoquake, MultiReal, and Geosynchron. All you have to do is sign up for, or already be a member of, GoodReads. Contest is scheduled to start today and end Friday, March 5. For more details:

• The GoodReads page for Infoquake
• The GoodReads page for MultiReal
• The GoodReads page for Geosynchron

Upcoming Appearances.

• March 19-20: Virginia Festival of the Book, Charlottesville VA.

Thanks for all the support over books 1, 2 and 3! Now go ye and spread the word about Geosynchron. Go thee thou and spreadest the word, I say.

The number of entries was pretty pathetic, which makes me feel rather pathetic. I’ve been neglecting this blog terribly over the past few months, and Google Analytics reflects it.

But that doesn’t make me any less enthusiastic about awarding the final prize to loyal reader Josh Vogt. Josh writes:

I’m assuming we’re talking about the “old” Obi-wan, since it’d be great to see two hoary-haired mentor figures going head to head. Now, after they both got all frowny and had a bushy-browed staring contest, Gandalf would win the ultimate showdown (bridge locale optional). Why? Because Obi-wan has a suicidal death wish. Just stick any young Jedi-wannabe within ten feet of the old guy, and the moment anyone takes a swing at his head, whether with a staff or light saber, the dude’s going to get a mystical smile on his face, cue a little emotional background music, and let himself get decapitated into a pile of dirty laundry. Because he’s just that enigmatic. He wouldn’t dare sacrifice all that mystique for the sake of winning any kind of fight. Gandalf is much more pragmatic and at least provides substantial opposition, making sure his enemy is down for the count (preferably cast down upon the mountainside) before even letting himself take a breather.

Congratulations, Josh, you’ve won the David Louis Edelman prize pack, which includes:

• One signed copy of the Solaris mass market of Infoquake
• One signed copy of the Pyr trade paperback of MultiReal
• One signed copy of The Solaris Book of New Science Fiction, Volume Two (containing my story “Mathralon”)
• One signed copy of the new Overlook Press edition of Mervyn Peake’s Titus Alone (containing my introduction)

The only other entry of note came from Derek Johnson, who writes:

This is easy: Gandalf wins hands down.  He defeated the Balrog, and traversed the belly of Middle Earth in the process.  All Obi-Wan ever did was turn into a ghost.  Obi-Wan couldn’t even stop the chosen one from turning to the dark side of the Force.

The “how” is even easier.  Because magic in Tolkien is something of a technology, he could sap Obi-Wan of his midichlorians, which are the key elements in accessing the Force.

The topic also came up in the comments for the last contest of what would happen if you added Morpheus, Albus Dumbledore, and Duncan Idaho to the mix. Personally, I think Morpheus would kick all of their asses — because you know that the powers of all the others are simply delusions forcefed down their neural cortexes by the Matrix.

The winner this week is Jim Haley. The title he submitted would never fit on a DVD case, but he scores extra points for hitting Douglas Adams’ entire Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series, including “Young Zaphod Plays It Safe”:

The Hooker’s Guide to Servicing Aliens at the Truckstop at the End of the Universe, Avoiding His (Her/Its) Wife, Her Purse, and Everything in It, and Knowing When It’s Time to Say, So Long, You Were a Quite a Dish (with the addendum Young Bods May Not Like to Play It Safe, But They’re Mostly Harmless Anyway)

And if that wasn’t enough, he submitted a number of other good titles, including:

The Unzip My Fly Effect

and

So LONG… But It Smells a Little Like Fish

The closest runner-up was Mike Wolffe, for his fabulous entry:

Butt Pirates of the Perineum: At Girl’s End

(I might have awarded Mike the contest, if I didn’t eliminate him for reasons of nepotism. I’ve actually known Mike since we both stood out in deep right field in a softball game in fifth grade and let fly balls fly by us. Go read Mike’s blog, if you want to see some great photography, deviant humor of the Butt Pirates of the Perineum sort, left-wing politics, general deep thoughts, and lots of Calvin and Hobbes. But I should warn you, this is a guy who still likes Guns N’ Roses.)

As for other runners-up… Stephen Stull came close to the grand prize with an entry that made me grin. Although in the end, I thought Titus Groans was a little too — well, obvious.

GormenghASSED Revisited: Titus Groans… Again.

Dave Crampton submitted a few good entries as well, but the one that really made me giggle was:

Anansi Boys on Boys

Very simple and elegant. Neil Gaiman would be proud.

Update, July 14 @ 10:20 AM: A few late-arriving entries from Geoffrey Allan Plauche that, while not eligible for the contest, are still worthy of inclusion on the honorable mentions list:

Joe Hadaman’s The Forever Whore
Joe Abercrombie’s Before They Are Banged
John Scuzzi’s Old Man’s Whore
Fred Pole’s Man Plus Man
David Louis Edelman’s Hoquake: Book One of the Hump 269 Trilogy

* * *

For this week’s contest, due to popular request (and due to this blogger wishing to get more contest entries so as to not look foolish), I’m opening up entries to the entire world. Yes, that means you, in Zimbabwe! And you, in Portugal! And you, in the Cayman Islands! Not to mention you, in the United States.

I’m also going to lower the decency bar back down where it belongs, in deference to all of the Internet censors in your foreign countries. In fact, I’m so interested in getting your input that I’m going to let you influence the course of the next U.S. presidential election.

Your task is this: pick a comic book superhero to run as either Barack Obama’s or John McCain’s running mate this fall. And then tell me why said superhero would be an asset to the ticket. You can be funny — or heck, if you can really think of some good, solid reasons why Obama should choose Wolverine as his vice president or McCain should be stumping through Idaho with Nick Fury, I’ll be willing to reward a thoughtful enough entry with the prize.

Example: “John McCain should choose Spider-Man as his running mate in ’08, because 1) his punchy one-liners could really liven up McCain’s stump speeches, 2) who knows, underneath that costume, Spidey might be a black guy too, and 3) his New York residency might actually help win the state for the GOP.”

Same contest rules apply as before. Email your response to dedelman@gmail.com with the subject line “Summer Giveaway Contest 3″. Entries are due Sunday, July 20 at 11:59 pm Eastern Time. Submit as many entries as you like. Winning entry gets:

• One signed copy of the Solaris mass market of Infoquake
• One signed copy of the Pyr trade paperback of MultiReal
• One signed copy of The Solaris Book of New Science Fiction, Volume Two (containing my story “Mathralon”)
• One signed copy of the new Overlook Press edition of Mervyn Peake’s Titus Alone (containing my introduction)

Update, July 21 @ 10:10 AM: The winner of this week’s contest has been announced.

“MultiReal is the biggest and best thing I’ve held in my hands this year. It is filled with a white-hot explosion of goodness that literally comes up from every page in a burst of salty yet sweet power. An earth-shaking winner that will be stiff competition for awards come next season and that I’m sure to tell all my friends to strap on and try out for themselves.”
– Award-winning actress & author Tera Patrick

I thought this blurb was hilarious even before I had any idea who Tera Patrick was. Then I Googled the name and discovered that this woman on the right is Tera Patrick, star of such films as Teradise Island and Asian Street Hookers 6. (Perhaps I might have recognized her if I hadn’t stopped watching the series after the disappointing Asian Street Hookers 4: Electric Boogaloo.) Even more amusing was the fact that Frank sent this blurb from his work email at a law firm in New Orleans, complete with ridiculous law firm confidentiality disclaimer in the footer.

Such shameless and enterprising genius has earned Mr. Schiavo a copy of the Complete David Louis Edelman Canon, consisting of:

• One copy of the Solaris mass market of Infoquake
• One copy of the Pyr trade paperback of MultiReal
• One copy of The Solaris Book of New Science Fiction, Volume Two (containing my story “Mathralon”)
• One copy of the new Overlook Press edition of Mervyn Peake’s Titus Alone (containing my introduction)

I will say that Mr. Schiavo did have some tough competition. I thought the best runner-up was this clearly well-thought-out blurb, submitted by Mick Summer:

“MultiReal is tonight’s word! Have the literati snobs left yet? Just for us sci-fi readers, MultiReal is real meat for hard science fans! David Louis Edelman’s godless, liberal future cleverly masks an explosive expose of today’s mediascape, with truthiness and balls by the spadefull. Get MultiReal! Don’t forget Infoquake, the prequel. For a two-patty brain-shaking read, get the pair! MultiReal — and so can you!”
– Stephen Colbert

In a similar pseudo-political vein was this one, submitted by David Crampton:

“MultiReal? Liberal propaganda! Everyone knows there’s only one real! More than one real is un-American! This Edelman character is probably terrorist fist-bumping with sleeper cells! Now, I’m not saying that he’s a criminal, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he ended up in Gitmo! How many reals will he have then, huh? What do you mean, did I read the book?”
– Bill O’Reilly

There were even some good quick one-liners, like this one from Steven Klotz:

“Forget steak. I’d go Judas on Neo’s ass for just a glance at MultiReal.”
– Cypher

Jim Haley put a smile on my face with this twofer from James T. Kirk. The ellipses are a nice touch.

“Captain’s Log, Stardate 07032008. Bones gave me a… copy of this… MultiReal book and I just… can’t seem to put it down. Not even an… Orion slave girl could… tempt me away.”
– James T. Kirk

“Captain’s Log, Stardate 07032008.1. As it turns out… a Orion slave girl… COULD drag me away. But not for long.”
– James T. Kirk

Overall, a very nice batch indeed — and there were more worthy entries than those I published here. Thanks to all who entered.

* * *

As for the approximately 6 billion people out there who are not Frank Schiavo… here’s your next chance to win the complete DLE canon.

This week’s contest: inspired by Frank Schiavo (and Tera Patrick), I want to see the best science fiction or fantasy-related porno parody title. You know, like:

• Star Whores III: Revenge of the Tits
• Rod Emperor of Dooin’
• J.R.R. Pokien’s The SeeMoreJillian
• MultiFeel: Book 2 of the Hump 269 Trilogy

Bonus points if you stay away from the old stand-bys. I mean, come on, we’ve all thought of a million porno parody titles for The Lord of the Rings and Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan by now. Let’s see some good porno parody titles for really uber mega geeky works that only a confirmed SF/F addict would recognize. Where are the parody titles for C.J. Cherryh’s The Pride of Chanur? Or Philip K. Dick’s Flow My Tears, the Policeman Said? Norman Spinrad’s Bug Jack Barron?

Submit as many titles as you want. I’ll be picking the winner based on the single best title. Once again, you’ll be competing for the four books you see here. Deadline is Sunday, July 13 at 11:59 pm Eastern Time.

Submit entries via email to dedelman@gmail.com, with “Summer Giveaway Contest 2″ in the subject line. (Really, use that subject line. I had to fish a couple entries out of the spam filter last time. Having a subject line to look for really helps.)

Update, July 14 @ 8:40 AM: The winner of this week’s contest has been announced.

Here’s how it works. Every week for the next four weeks, I’m going to hold a contest here on my blog. You, the anonymous denizens of the Internet, will send me your contest entries. And every week, I’m going to pick one winning entry who will win the stack of books pictured to the right, namely:

• One copy of the Solaris edition of Infoquake
• One copy of the Pyr edition of MultiReal
• One copy of The Solaris Book of New Science Fiction, Volume Two (containing my story “Mathralon”)
• One copy of Overlook Press’ new edition of Mervyn Peake’s Titus Alone (containing my introduction to the book)

Yes, that’s right: I’m giving away four sets of four books each. That’s a total of… uh… hold on, let me dig out my calculator… forty-two sixteen books! And not only that, but you’re winning the entire David Louis Edelman ouevre to date. The “DLE Canon,” as it were.

So here’s the first contest.

You may be aware that I’ve gotten some nice advance blurbs from authors. Kate Elliott said that Infoquake was “inventive and provocative, with a surprisingly emotional kick.” Peter Watts called MultiReal “a thoroughly-successful hybrid of Neuromancer and Wall Street.”

But did you know that there were a number of author and celebrity endorsements that my publisher decided to turn down? For instance, President George W. Bush weighed in on Infoquake with this advance blurb:

“David Louie Eldermint’s Info-Quake just might be a weapon of mass destruction all by itself. If Eldermint was out to eliminate all my free time trying to finish his book, then mission accomplished! All I can say is, heckuva job, Davey!” — George W. Bush, Presimadent of the US of A

Pyr wisely decided that they didn’t want to publish an endorsement from such a controversial public figure. Likewise, they turned down this one from DNC Chairman Howard Dean:

“Edelman’s gonna sell books in Borders! And then he’s gonna sell books in Barnes & Noble! And then he’s going on to Books-a-Million, Waterstone’s, Powell’s, Waldenbooks, and B. Dalton… AND ALL THE WAY TO WAL-MART! YEEEEEEEEHAAAGH!” — Howard Dean, Chairman of the Democratic National Committee

I can understand why my publisher decided to turn down blurbs from such political figures as Bush and Dean. You don’t want to go around alienating half of your potential audience. But why would they have turned down this perfectly acceptable blurb from lovable ol’ Jar-Jar Binks?

“Meesa bustin’ with happiness at readin’ dis-a book, MultiReal! My afraid that my not been reading such good tings for a long ol’ time! Infinito possibiliteez is only a state in da mind, indeed!” — Jar-Jar Binks, Irritating Orange Asshole

So your mission for this week is: email me some more blurbs that were too controversial to print on the jackets of my books at dedelman@gmail.com. Whoever submits the best, funniest, most offensive, most shocking, or just plain weirdest blurb between now and 11:59 PM Eastern time on Sunday, June July 6 will win the complete David Louis Edelman book set. Put “Summer Giveaway Contest 1″ in the subject line so I know what you’re emailing me about.

You can enter as many times as you see fit, but you can only win one set of books. I’ll be the sole judge, jury, and executioner (but let’s hope it doesn’t come to that). I’ll post the best blurbs here on the blog. Unfortunately, due to the prohibitive cost of shipping, I’m going to limit this contest to the United States and Canada.

(And no, in case you’re wondering, I’m not going to use your email for nefarious marketing purposes. Unless, I suppose, you count this contest as a nefarious marketing purpose, which is fair.)

Ready? Go!

Update, July 7 @ 10:06 PM: The winner for this week’s contest has been announced, and details of the next giveaway contest are available.

But better yet — if you haven’t yet read book 1 of the Jump 225 Trilogy, Infoquake, Pyr will throw in a copy of that book as well. Go! Enter! Encourage these people to pay me lots of attention and thus encourage more sales.

And if that’s not excuse enough for me to dust off the ol’ Adobe Photoshop and stick a copy of MultiReal in a sleazy used car salesman’s hand, I don’t know what is.