The last time I was at Balticon was in either 1990 or 1991. I was a junior at Johns Hopkins University at the time, and a bunch of my friends and me decided that Balticon would be an easy place to score some alcohol. We were right. I remember playing piano in a hallway, and drinking, and doing some debaucherous things in a stairway, and drinking, and getting the hotel security guards sicced on me, and drinking. When I finally realized that all my friends had left hours ago, I managed to convince a young woman named Kibbux to drive me 30 miles back to my house in the snow. I swear her name was Kibbux. Her car was covered with ice, and all we had to scrape off the windows with was a fork. And that, my friends, is about as wild and crazy as David Louis Edelman has ever gotten.

I don’t plan to do anything remotely that edgy this weekend. Instead I’ll be on panels and giving a reading from MultiReal. Here’s my schedule, along with the descriptions from the pocket schedule and the room names in parentheses:

• Friday, 5 pm
  Publishing Labyrinth (Belmont)
  Learn the ins and outs of this business!
• Friday, 7 pm
  E-Publishing (Derby)
  Let experienced people talk about this hot new trend!
• Saturday, 12 noon:
  Building a Website for Fun and Profit (Belmont)
• Saturday, 1 pm:
  Autograph Session (Hotel Lobby)
• Saturday, 6 pm:
  How Much Longer Will It Still Be the Internet? (Salon D)
  Some countries plan to create “their own” (most likely restricted) internets because they’re uncomfortable with the present halcyon freedom “on line.” What’s the future of www?
• Sunday, 11 am:
  Reading from MultiReal (Pimlico)
• Sunday, 6 pm:
  Future of Cities (Salon D)
  Are large cities sustainable in our modern world? Can green building and alternate housing keep them during global warming or our next ice age? Could they become utopias?

No, I won’t be bringing a ton of promotional goodies with me. I’ve been sick and haven’t had time to prepare. Deal.