I haven’t had time yet to read more than the first dozen pages or so, but it’s already clear to me that my novel Infoquake is a far, far better book.

How do I know that? Well, The Color of Magic only has three pages of blurbs inside the front cover — in large type, no less — while the Solaris edition of Infoquake has four and a half. The upcoming trade paperback of MultiReal ups the stakes considerably, with over nine pages of blurbs inside the cover. Nine and a half pages! By my reckoning, that makes Infoquake somewhere between 50% and 216% better than The Color of Magic.

Of course, by this standard I’m still playing catch-up to Patrick Rothfuss’ The Name of the Wind. If you open up the mass market paperback for Pat’s debut, you see page after page of ecstatic blurbs and reviews from folks like Orson Scott Card and Robin Hobb, explaining why they would gladly burn the world’s last copy of Crime and Punishment if only to feed the fire that’s keeping Pat’s feet warm for twenty minutes. (I’m not saying this to be mean-spirited; it’s awe-inspiring stuff. We all love the guy who’s a scrappy loser, but less frequently admitted is how much we love the guy who’s an overbearing success. A part of me wishes that Pat was eligible for the John W. Campbell Award for Best New Writer this year. I would have loved to see him win by an overwhelming, blow-out margin. Remember how cool it was to watch The Return of the King take just about every Oscar in existence?)

Okay, back to the blurbs and review snippets. To quote Triumph the Comic Insult Dog: I kid! I kid!

We all know that this inside-the-cover blurb stuff is really just a marketing game that the publishers play. We all know that the presence of a ton of laudatory quotes might — might — signal the presence of a worthwhile book, but the lack of these quotes doesn’t mean the book is lacking in quality. We all know that the number of mouth-foaming quotes you find on the jacket or inside the cover serve one purpose and one purpose only: to sell you a book.

Nonetheless, it works. There are plenty of readers out there who claim that review snippets and author blurbs are totally meaningless and don’t impact their purchasing decisions. I’m not one of them. I utterly depend on compelling review snippets and/or blurbs from sources that I trust when I decide what to buy. Because to me, seeing a page of quality reviews and blurbs indicates several things:

• The blurbing authors thought highly enough of this book to have their name slathered all over it, knowing that it’s going to be used specifically for promotional purposes.
• Discerning, thoughtful critics liked the book enough that they took the time to think up a clever way to phrase their feelings about it, knowing that it’s going to be etc. etc.
• The publisher believes this book will appeal directly to readers like me by highlighting critical praise for the book and not putting one of those cheesy mini-excerpts on the first page.

(As an aside: I find those miniature excerpts on the first page of mass market paperbacks incredibly condescending. I’m sorry to report that if your book has an excerpt like that, your publisher has just dramatically decreased the probability of me buying it. Why?

1. Because you’ll usually find the most sensationalistic, cliffhangery passage of the whole book there, whether it’s germane to the plot or not.
2. Because the folks that package the book often take liberties with the author’s grammar and/or punctuation in these excerpts.
3. Because often these snippets give away crucial plot points or color my reading of the story.
4. Because they’re usually printed in a large font that screams, “Hey! I know you’re already headed to the checkout line, but I’m hoping this tiny irrelevant snippet of suggestive kinkiness, frenetic action, or lobotomized ideamongering just might be enough to inspire you to make an impulse purchase!”)

So ever since I saw the final typeset version of MultiReal with the nine and a half pages of review snippets, I’ve been ((way) over)analyzing it in my head. What does this say about my writing? What does it say about my career? Should I be proud that so many people had so many nice things to say about my first book? Does the book exhibit a Napoleon Complex by trying to show off so much? Should I mention on my blog that I wanted to include a lot of the positive comments from bloggers, as a way to show my respect and gratitude to the blogosphere for being so generous? And if I do mention that, am I being defensive?

And I’m also wondering: will these blurbs influence people’s buying decisions? Pretend you know nothing about me or my writing, and you stumble across MultiReal and its panoply of impressive-looking blurbs and review snippets in your local bookstore. How much would these pages impact your choice of whether to buy the book or not?

I read on somebody’s blog this afternoon that Scott Lynch would “win in a walk.” Between you and me, I’m expecting he’ll win the Campbell this year too, but at least I want to make him sprint for it a little. I haven’t heard a bad word about his Lies of Locke Lamora (except from me) or the follow-up, Red Seas Under Red Skies. I dunno, given that he’s the Hot New Fantasy Author on the block and everyone I know universally acknowledges him to be a great guy, there must be something wrong with him.

I met Jon Armstrong at World Fantasy this year, and I have read his debut novel Grey. It does share a number of thematic concerns with my own Infoquake — economics, rampant consumerism, class discrepancies — and it’s quite funny to boot. The book got one of the best advance blurbs I’ve ever seen from the inimitable Michael Chabon: “Jon Armstrong is a genius, with an umlaut, to the fifth power.” On a personal level, my impression of Jon (sorry, Jön) is that he’s a much, much nicer person than me, though that may be damning him with faint praise.

I haven’t met David Anthony Durham yet, but his name seems to crop up quite a bit these days as a fantasist to watch. He’s already got a solid foothold in Respectable Lit’rary Territory with his historical novels Gabriel’s Story, Walk Through Darkness, and Pride of Carthage. A vote for David might be a solid strategic move if only because it will put another dent in the armor of the snooty academics who look down on genre fiction.

I would be very, very pleased to see Mary Robinette Kowal walk off with the Campbell tiara. And not just because she’s smart, she’s my friend, she’s got a story in George Mann’s new Solaris anthology with me, she’s got a highly original voice (in both the literary and literal senses), and she’s dead sexy. She’s also the only nominated author this year with no published novel under her belt. C’mon, big New York publishers, what are you waiting for? Make this gal famous already so we can start our own cool, edgy, avant-garde writers’ movement.

My fellow Pyr novelist Joe Abercrombie stands a good chance of staging an upset win this year for his The Blade Itself and Before They Are Hanged. I’ll confess I haven’t gotten around to reading them yet, but the adjectives that get tossed around about this guy’s work are enough to make anyone jealous. Plus he has a highly entertaining blog. You know, on second thought, please help me bury Abercrombie’s work in obscurity before he totally reinvents the genre out from under the rest of us.

And what about my chances? Well, I’m not totally counting myself out of the running. But admittedly I was rather quiet for most of 2007, and I think by the time people read my upcoming MultiReal this summer and get reacquainted with my work, the voting deadline might have passed. I’m contemplating sending my spouse down to North Carolina to stir up some racial tension, and pressing for a recount of the Hugo ballots in Michigan and Florida. If I do win, I’ll make sure that the world knows it’s not because I’m a better writer, but because I kicked up more dirt, threatened more people, tossed around more money, and slept with more influential people.

But you want to know the real interesting question? I’m wondering if Patrick Rothfuss still got more nominations than any of us, even though he’s not eligible for the award due to a technicality. It’s simply not right to pen an article about Campbell Award nominees in 2008 and not mention Pat, who would otherwise be the bearded 800-pound gorilla this year for his debut The Name of the Wind. I’m kind of disappointed he didn’t pick up a Hugo nomination instead.

I’m absolutely loathe to do this, considering that I scrupulously try to avoid any hint of self-promotion on my blogs. But I suppose I should mention that this is my second and final year of eligibility for the John W. Campbell Award for Best New Science Fiction or Fantasy Writer.

I should also point out that last year, I missed getting a Campbell nomination by 4 lousy votes. The award ended up going to Naomi Novo something-or-other, who writes these lurid fantasy novels about Loch Ness monsters on the moon, or basilisks on Boot Hill, or something like that. I can’t be bothered to look it up. I heard they sold a few copies.

So this year, in an effort to avoid being screwed once again by Big Hugo, I’m immediately commencing my sinister, take-no-prisoners campaign to get nominated for this year’s Campbell Award. My eligible works are (in order of reverse chronology):

• Infoquake

Okay, so it’s not a very large oeuvre at this point. But it’s a good one. And all you have to do to qualify to vote is be a supporting member of the World Science Fiction Society, which costs $50. (You can sign up for your membership here.)

In order to ensure my victory, here’s what I’m prepared to do. Everyone who emails me photographic proof that they’ve nominated me for the Campbell Award will receive the following:

1. A check for $20,000, plus 20% of all my future writing profits;
2. Ten copies of the deluxe illustrated edition of my upcoming novel MultiReal, personally inscribed and annotated by me;
3. Three nights of raunchy and deviant adventure with a pair of bisexual French runway models or David Beckham (your choice);
4. A lifetime supply of Dinty Moore canned Beef Stew, plus gold-plated can opener;
5. A three-picture deal with Joss Whedon, with guaranteed participation by Jason Lee, Paris Hilton, and Ozzy Osbourne; and
6. My eternal gratitude.*

And what’s the use of having a blog if I can’t pimp my friends who are also eligible for the award? In particular:

• Mary Robinette Kowal is not only the owner of the coolest steampunk laptop in existence, but she’s been building quite a portfolio of short fiction. And she’s, like, way cool.
• Cat Rambo seems to be publishing short fiction everywhere these days, not least of which is a collaboration with Jeff Vandermeer called The Surgeon’s Tale. And she’s also way cool. (Update 1/7/08: Alas, Ms. Rambo informs me that she is not eligible for the Campbell. But she’s still way cool.)

Presumably the frontrunners for the Campbell this year are Patrick Rothfuss (The Name of the Wind) and Scott Lynch (The Lies of Locke Lamora). Although Patrick’s not listed on the Writertopia Eligible Authors page, for some reason. I don’t want to dissuade you from nominating either of these fine gentlemen, even though they’re both wanted in twelve states for peddling narcotics to homeless children. And they were major investors in Michael Vick’s dog fighting ring. And they’re Scientologists. But really, if none of that bothers you, by all means please nominate Patrick Rothfuss and Scott Lynch for the Campbell Award.

Update 1/7/08: Turns out Patrick Rothfuss may not be eligible, according to Bill at Writertopia. See comments on the Livejournal mirror of this article.

March 1, 2008′s the deadline, people. What are you waiting for?

* All prizes subject to availability and/or author’s whims.